FROM THE HART

Getting the love

train back on track

Advice on love, relationships and other issues relevant to sexual minorities.

Dear Taylor,

by Taylor Hart

My lover and I are both very busy career women with many responsibilities and obligations. We have very little time to spend together. When we do have some time together we are usually too tired to have sex. Our sex life is practically non-existent! Sometimes we force ourselves to have sex even when we are really too tired, but then the sex is just mechanical and dissatisfying. Please help us! We used to have great sex! Help us find a way to get back on track! Busy Women

Dear Busy Women,

Here's what I suggest you should do: Some evening when the two of you have some extra time sit down with both of your appointment books and find a time mutually appealing for both of you to have sex. Schedule an appointment to have sex. Try to pick a time when you are most likely to have the energy, desire and not be interrupted. Perhaps an early morning appointment would work better for you. Or perhaps a Monday evening when neither of you have any obligations. The important thing is to plan ahead. During your appointment take your phone off the hook. Don't answer your door bell. Remember, this time spent together is just as important as your career and social obligations.

I know it might seem a little odd at first to be scheduling an appointment to have sex, but this type of planning is really helpful for many couples. We schedule appointments for many other things that we consider to be very important, so why not an appointment for sex? Who knows? Sometimes the act of scheduling the appointment can be so arousing that it might lead to spontaneous love making! Let me know how this works for you. Good luck!

Dear Taylor,

Where's the best place to meet single men?

Dear Marky,

A wedding chapel.

Dear Taylor,

FEBRUARY 25, 1994

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Marky

I am an attractive, single, thirty-something gay man who is dating and looking for Mister Right. My problem is that I don't know how to reject men that I don't find attractive. How can I tell someone that I am not interested in dating them without hurting their feelings? I've tried just avoiding that person. I've given out fake phone numbers. I've lied and said that I was seeing someone else. But I prefer to be honest and direct and explain why I am not interested. What is an honest guy to do?

Dear B.B.B.,

Big Boy Blue

I am all for honesty but it is totally unnecessary to tell someone why you are not interested in dating them.

All you need to say is, "I'm sure that you are a very nice person but I am not interested. Thank you."

Another polite response is, “Thank you for your interest, but I don't think it would work out."

Stating your reasons for your lack of interest can be offensive. Why risk hurting someone's feelings if it can be avoided? Besides, you never know who that person might turn out to be. The guy you rejected last night might turn out to be an important business contact or authority figure in your future. Treat others how you would like to be treated. The reward for living graciously is gracious living.

P.S.-Only jerks give out fake phone numbers. You don't seem like a jerk, so there's still time to redeem yourself.

Need help with your love life? Taylor welcomes your questions. Send them to Taylor Hart, care of the Chronicle, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland, 44101.

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Y'KNOW, MAYBE STAYING HOME IS THE TICKET AFTER ALL. HOWABOUT A LITTLE FANTASY STARRING THAT CLARINET PLAYER You Spot. tEd FOR AT THE GYM.. THE ONE WITH THE LITTLE QUARTER NOTES TATOOE& UNDER HIS BICEPS ...

1/1

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